Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Listen Folks, I Take Coffee Seriously. So Should You.

You need 3 (or at least a few) things:

1 - Legit Beans. None of this Maxwell House nonsense. Got this from a local shop that roasts it's own beans. Meet "Nicaragua La Gloria" which connoisseurs say means something in Spanish.

2 - A Legit Brewing Apparatus. Meet the Chemex, as featured in the video below. Though it looks like something from a meth lab, I assure that in my house it's primarily used for coffee, though I aint gonna lie, it does make some quality meth (I read about it in a magazine).

3 - A Legit Grind. Not too coarse, not too fine. Just right for the Chemex. This grind could be used in a French Press also, but we have no time for that now.

4 - Legit Water. Preferably clear. Preferably hot. Preferably free of meth.
The bubbles mean it's working.

6 - More Tasteful Drapes.

6 - A Legit Pour. Too fast and the velocity could cause the coffee to cool too rapidly in midair, causing it to be ice cold before it reaches your cup. Too slow and you'll need to drink a Red Bull to help you pour faster, negating your need for coffee. Both outcomes are unfavorable.


The moral of the story: Stay away from meth.



Adam Cates said...

Can I try some of your meth?

Blake White said...

Though I rarely drink coffee at home these days, I am ashamed to admit that I currently have Folgers House Blend in my pantry as I type. Don't judge me, it was a budget issue.

Eron said...


Ok, well I lied. The Chemex doesn't make great meth. It's mediocre. So, you probably don't want any. That is of course, if I had some. I just read that it's mediocre in a magazine.


Judgment has been suspended for a time.